Stories from SA members
Members' stories

Compulsive: Lust was my Problem: Story of recovery.

Hi, I’m a sexaholic, recovering from a lifetime of compulsive crossdressing, masturbation and many other acting out scenarios with my heroin – lust.

Age 11, I started wearing my sisters tights during masturbation, which added to the thrill. By 17, I was compulsively stealing or secretly ‘borrowing’ women’s underwear at any opportunity, despite very real risks of being caught. I didn’t realise I was already out of control.

At age 19, after a great deal of difficulty I finally lost my virginity. Sex with real women reduced, but never eliminated, my crossdressing. I didn’t realise that all my relationships were lust based, and unreal. They were all short lived.

Alcoholism and drug addiction took a very heavy toll between ages 18 to 35. By age 30, living in America, I was completely isolated, suicidal and returned to the UK, hoping for some improvement. Things only worsened.

The relationship in America, which I walked out of, was to be my last for many years. Off drugs and desperately depressed, I came across a specialist shop for crossdressers, and my old addiction exploded again. This time my pursuit of that ecstatic high I could get from crossdressing cost me serious amounts of money. I became a ‘binge’ luster.

Suicide was a daily thought by age 36, but then a miracle happened – I found AA and sobriety from alcohol and drugs. I was reassured that my crossdressing was harmless and I was encouraged to masturbate and crossdress as much as I wanted. I also had therapy to ‘cure’ my hangups about it. I had a relationship with a transvestite.

Whilst sobriety in AA improved my life enormously (I now have over 26 years continuous sobriety from drugs and alcohol) I still was unable to relate to women successfully, and could never moderate or control my crossdressing habits. Increasingly, I began to realise that within me something was not right.

A friend one day gave me the book ‘Sexaholics Anonymous’. I immediately identified with the concept that lust was my problem. I had always thought that if only I could stop crossdressing I would be ‘OK”. Reading the book helped me to see that ALL my sexual behaviour was lust based, and I was a true lust addict, a sexaholic, and love cripple.

I now have over 2 years sexual sobriety to add to my 26 years AA sobriety, and I can honestly say I am beginning to experience a new happiness which I have never known before. Already, serious insurmountable problems are being eliminated, and I have a new energy and zest for life, as I begin to live lust free. Lust is not sex. What a wonderful discovery!

I hope my story encourages you to believe you can recover from lust addiction. I won’t kid you and tell you it’s easy, but boy is it worth it! I am a very grateful member of SA today.

– Anonymous

Further Reading

Members' stories

Porn Obsession

Read more

Members' stories

Sexual Fantasies: Something Was Wrong. Story of recovery.

Read more

Members' stories

Crossdressing and Masturbation: Story of recovery.

Read more
Image Take our Sexual Addiction Test

Take our Sexual Addiction Test

This sexual addiction test is an aid to help you determine whether or not you need Sexaholics Anonymous.

Take the Test
Image Member's stories

Member's stories

SA members share their experience, strength and hope in the form of the stories of their recovery.

Recovery stories
Image Find a meeting

Find a meeting

Sexaholics Anonymous meetings take place face to face, in groups, by Skype and by telephone.

Find a meeting
Image For the professional

For the professional

SA welcomes referrals from medics, therapists, religious leaders & other professionals.

Find out more
Image About us

About us

What is Sexaholics Anonymous and what is sexual sobriety?

Read more